remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
