Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
