I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
