it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
