I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize