I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
