'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
