it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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