everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
