we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
They took my balls.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
