ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
