And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
