we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
