I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
