quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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