At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
