Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
