Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Princesses don't give blow jobs
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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