i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
