the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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