What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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