Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
