yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
