Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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