dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Actions speak louder than pants.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
