Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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