just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
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