at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
