The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
