is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
