Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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