Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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