Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
