I like to think it a success when the cops are called
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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