You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
