Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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