Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
