Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
