I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just sent this text using only my big toe
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
