where am i from again
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
