I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
