That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
