I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
