I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
