Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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