I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
