i already hear my dad disowning me
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
