Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
