Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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