I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
