its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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