cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize