He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
