If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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