At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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