He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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