Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
