What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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