i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
3 2 1 whiskey
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
