Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
