dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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